Sex and love

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'
The woman wrote: 'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like Bob and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.'
And Bob wrote: 'I love sex.'

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Q. How do you make out if a guy's gay?
A. He is always expaniding his friend(s) circle...

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What SEX and PARKING SPACES share in common:

-You should never have to wait to find one

-You should be able to slide right into one

-Spaces in the front are always the best

-When no front spaces are available, spaces in the rear will always suffice

-It sucks when someone else is double-parked

-Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back

-It's a tragedy when you have a 'full-size' car but there are only 'compact' spaces

-A full-size car is good to find

-People are willing to wait in line for the good spaces

-Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying

-We're all looking for the free space with the "unlimited" time limit

-A house isn't a home without a parking space

-Some people are uncomfortable with a space in the rear

-Why is it best-looking cars are always the ones who only like parking in the rear?
The better your parking techniques are the more parking spaces you can get into.

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I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it!!! There are plenty more ribs where YOU came from!"

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Q. Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
A. Its for dickheads.

What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.

Why is sex like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.

Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass!

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Too Much Love

Three friends, two straight guys and a gay guy, and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship. They all drowned. They each had to come before before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either", said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."

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Updated 9.6.2017 22:53
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