Sex is a three-letter word which sometimes needs an old-fashioned four-letter word to convey its full meaning.

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He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something else.

I ask him, and he says no. But you know I'm not really sure. So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell this means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally get back to his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me!

So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave.

I dunno, I just don't know, what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else?


Lousy day at work. Tired. Got laid though.

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A Frenchwoman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male.

"What is that?" asked the child pointing to the penis.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Cherie," replied the mother.

"I want one," said the child.

The mother tried to focus her daughter's attention on a more suitable subject, but the little girl persisted.

"I want one just like that," she kept repeating.

At last the mother said, "If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one."

"And if I'm bad?" asked the little one.

"Then," sighed the mother, "You will have many."

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Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself. He had been given special powers by a local witch. One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside. The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them, "I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now.

The bear (being greedy) went first. "I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me."

A magical sound and it was done.

Then the rabbit. "I would like a helmet."

This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet.

It was the bear's turn again. "I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female."

A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit went again. "I would like a motorcycle."

Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn't just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle.

The bear took his last wish. "I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me."

A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, said "I wish the bear was gay." and took off like a bat out of hell.

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Updated 21.3.2021 14:12
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