The Magic show
Little Susie ask her mother, "Can I go over to Jill's house and watch the magic show?" |
Mother replied, "Whatever do you mean, dear?"
Susie said, "The one she performs. I heard her tell Nina she got $600 for doing six tricks last night."
"I am celibate." the young woman declared.
"Celibate?" the judge asked, wide-eyed.
"How can you claim you are celibate?"
"It is my business to be celibate. I sell a bit here, I sell a bit there....."
"Aren't you worried about Tommy's new job at the gas station? Those fumes could cause him to lose the lead in his pencil."
"Doesn't matter." giggled the other girl. "He doesn't do all my writing, anyway!"
The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem!! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
The man pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone, calls some brokers in New York, then he calls some brokers in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build, I build."
Realizing that she has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally, she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like to have sex, I want the man I marry to have a 12-inch penis."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table. All the while, he's muttering something in Chinese. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man shakes his head, looking real sad, says to the woman, "I cut. I cut."
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