By the inch
Three friends decided to visit a prostitute -- a white guy, a black guy, and a Jew. It was a slow night, so she gave the guys a deal. "You can pay by the
When the white man comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars," said the first.
The blackguy goes in and returns with a fee of $95. The first two were proud of their prowess.
The third man goes in and returns. "How much did she charge you?" ask the first two.
"20 dollars," replies the Jew. The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third. "I'm not so stupid. I paid on the way out!"
The old woman listened intently as the doctor gave her the results. She then said she really only had one question for him.
The doctor said, "What is the question you have?"
Tell me young man, does your mother know how you make a living?"
"Don't worry, Maria. Stephen's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went.When she got upstairs, Stephen took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Stephen's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests.Go upstairs.He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Stephen took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Stephen took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry.All good men have hairy legs. Stephen's a good man.Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Stephen took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran down stairs. "Mama, Mama, Stephen's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama."
"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," complained MrsPerfesser, "it wakes me up."
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