I'm a woman and you're a man...
The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her. |
When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a... well... unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man -- sigh -- he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man..."
The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes, yes!"
"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"
"What's this for?" she asked.
"It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking. "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."
A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage.
"Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone."
"I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled my fillings loose."
"What are they doing, Johnny?" Mary asked. Little Johnny, being a man of the world for all his 12 years, knew what they were doing but was embarrassed to say it so he said, "Well, he's scaring her."
Little Mary said, "Oh".
They walked a little farther and Little Mary said, "Scare me, Little Johnny".
Well, Little Johnny thought, "What the Hell", so he took her into the bushes and "scared" her.
After they were finished, they started walking home again. Pretty soon, they walked past a stallion mounting a mare in the field. "What are they doing, Little Johnny?" she asked.
"Well, he's scaring her."
So Little Mary said, "Scare me again, Little Johnny."
Well, Little Johnny took her into the bushes and "scared" her again.
After they were finished, they started walking home again. Pretty soon, you guessed it, they saw a bull and a heifer in the field, going at it. "What are they doing, Little Johnny?" she asked again.
"Well, he's scaring her," Little Johnny said.
After a few more minutes of walking, Little Mary said, "Scare me again, Little Johnny".
Now Little Johnny, being a little tired by now, had just about had enough, so he yelled out, "Boo, damn it, boo!"
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