Little Johnny's School Days Are Over
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her sixth grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly, there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. |
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Patrick?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yelled, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reached to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asked, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yelled, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe. I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she dropped the eraser when she turned around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there was an enormous burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turned to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going, Little Johnny?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "I am."
The man replies "Well wash your damn hands, I want a cheese sandwich."
"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."
Two babies were sat in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"
"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.
"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll climb into your crib and find out."
He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a few seconds he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.
"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.
"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"
"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones."
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