Three Guys in Saudi Arabia

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they came upon this harem with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will each be punished, and in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living.

"I'm a cop", says the first man. "Alright, shoot his penis off", said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a fireman", said the second man. "Alright, burn his penis off", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"

And the third man answered, with a big smile on his face, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

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The old perfesser walks into a pharmacy and asks for a bottle of Viagra. The pharmacist says "Do you have a prescription?"
The old perfesser says, "No, but here's a picture of my wife..."

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MrsPerfesser is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, "Come here quick, Perfesser! I'm paralyzed! Help me, I can't get up!" The old perfesser runs in, takes a look, and says, "Stand up, you silly old bat. You're kneeling on one of your boobs!"

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The Ballerina?

This big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big, hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender! I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"

The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit, saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"

After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and says, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"

The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift herleg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

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Updated 9.6.2017 22:58
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