Private Investigation

A wealthy chinaman suspected his wife of being unfaithful to him and hired a prominent chinese detective to watch his wife; the following is his report: DETECTIVE'S REPORT

You leave house
I watch house
Man come to house
Man ring door bell
Wife open door
Man go in house
Man and your wife leave house
They go railroad station
I go railroad station
They go on train
I go on train
They get off train
I get off train
They go to hotel
I go to hotel
They go inside
I no go inside
I climb tree outside window
He undress she
She undress he
He play with she
She play with he
I play with me
I fall out of tree
I no see

= = = = = = = = = = =

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden God came to visit Eve.

"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just this one problem. It is these three breasts that you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes, they are a real pain." reported Eve.

"That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reaches down, removes the middle breast and tosses it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed, and God once again visits Eve in the garden. "Well Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right, how could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now lets see...where did I put that useless boob?"

= = = = = = = = = = =

A female Television Program reporter went to make an interview with a farmer...seeking the main reason that caused Mad Cow disease.

The Lady : Good evening Sir, we are here to collect information about the reason that causes Cow Madness. Do you have any idea what might be the reason??

The Farmer, stared at the lady and said, "Do you know that the Bull fucks the cow once a year?

The Lady getting embarrassed: "Well sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomena and Cow Madness?

The Farmer : Well Mam, do you know that we milk the Cow FOUR times a day!!!

The Lady : Sir this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point!

The Farmer : I am getting to the point Mam. Just imagine, if I am playing with your t*i*t*s FOUR TIMES A DAY and F*U*C*K*I*N*G YOU ONCE A YEAR, wouldn't you get MAD ??

= = = = = = = = = = =

Q. What's a Polish 69?

A. You suck your thumb while you jerk off.

= = = = = = = = = = =



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