Can't Argue with This!

Two little girls, pushing their doll buggies in the park, meet for the first time. Examining the other's doll buggy and baby, each exclaimed, "Oh what a pretty baby and baby buggy you have. Where did you get your baby and what did it cost?"

"My Mommy got mine at a sale at a Super K Mart store for $32.95"

"Oh that's great!.. She's so pretty."

"Well thank you. And where did you get your baby? She's such a beautiful little doll."

"Mommy got mine at Wal Mart for $32.04, the last one they had."

"Well she is certainly beautiful. You must be very proud of her."

Just then a real mommy came by with her firstborn. Naturally the oo's and aa's started ending with the same question, 'where did you get your baby and how much did he cost?'

"Well, I got my baby at the Sutter Maternity Hospital and it cost about $5,000."

The two little girls were stunned. The group broke up, the real mommy walked on.

Finally one of the little girls turned to the other and said, "You know, I don't know what you think about that deal, but if you ask me, she REALLY got SCREWED!"

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Dr. Seuss Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?
Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?
Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?
Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?
Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?
Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?
Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?
Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?
Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?
Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?
Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?
Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?
Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?
Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?
Have you done it without style?
Have you done it on the bathroom tile?
Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?
Have you done it on Mother's couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?
Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?
Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?
Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?
Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no"s,
Pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee,
Score times two's your Purity.

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There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys.

"He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that but don't let him do that.

"He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don't let him do that.

"He is going to try and put his hands between your legs, you are going to like that but don't let him do that.

"But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you have his way with you. You are going to like that but, don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she said. But she said "Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family..."

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Q. What's a Nymphos favorite bird?

A. A wood pecker.

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Updated 9.6.2017 23:03
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