New Phrases Men Wish Their Wives Would Say

  1. Of course I'll swallow it all...I love the taste!

  2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

  3. I'm bored...let's shave my pussy.

  4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

  5. That was a GREAT fart! Do another!

  6. I have decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

  7. You're so sexy when you are hung over!

  8. I would rather watch football and drink beer w/ you, than go shopping.

  9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

  10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

  11. Say, let's go down to the mall so that you can check out women's asses!

  12. I will be out painting the house.

  13. I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play on Sat., too.

  14. Honey? Our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again...come see!

  15. I know it's tighter back there, but will you PLEASE try again?

  16. No, no...I'll take the car in for an oil change.

  17. Your mother is way better than mine!

  18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing & buy yourself some new clubs!

  19. I understand fully; our anniversary comes every year, for Christ's sake! You go hunting with the guys. It's a great stress reliever!

  20. What do you say we get a good porno movie, a 6-pack of Bud, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome?

  21. No, not the fucking mall again! Let's try that new tittie bar instead!

  22. Listen...I make enough money for us both. Why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to a 7 or 8?

  23. Honey, you need your sleep...stop getting up for night feedings!

  24. God, if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I am going to bust!

  25. I signed up for yoga classes so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.

  26. Let's just skip the foreplay and romance, and get right down to fucking!

  27. I am on my period, so why don't you let me blow you? Better yet, go ahead and screw the secretary!


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Just Logic

There are 2 nuns who went out the convent for selling cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (S.M.), the other is known as Sister Logical (S.L.).

S.L. : It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
S.L. : Have you noticed a man that has been following us for the past half hour ?
S.M. : Yes, I wonder what he wants.
S.L. : It's logical. It's logical. He wants to rape us.
S.M. : Oh, no ! At this pace he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do ?
S.L. : The only logical thing to do of course. We have to start walking faster.
S.M. : It is not working.
S.L. : Of course it is not working. The man did the only logical thing to do. [He also started to walk faster.]
S.M. : So, what shall we do ? At this pace, he will reach us in less than 1 minute.
S.L. : The only logical thing we can do is to split. You go that way and I will go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So, the man decided to go after Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not arrived yet. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

S.M. : Sister Logical ! Thank god you are here. Tell us what happened?
S.L. : The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he decided to go after me.
S.M. : So, what happened. Please tell us.
S.L. : The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.
S.M. : So what happened ?
S.L. : The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.
S.M. : And what else ?
S.L. : The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.
S.M. : Oh, no. What did you do then ?
S.L. : The only logical thing to do. I took my dress up.
S.M. : Oh, Sister. What did the man do ?
S.L. : The only logical thing to do. He put down his pants.
S.M. : Oh, no ! What happened then ?
S.L. : Isn't it logical Sister? A nun with her dress up runs faster than a man with his pants down.

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Q: What is the greatest threat to a dildo farmer?
A: Squatters.

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Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.

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Updated 9.6.2017 23:05
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