SNOW IN JUNE

There was this guy riding down the road when he sees this pretty young lady standing with her thumb out. The driver pulls over and offers her a ride.
She gets in and later on down the road she says, "My name is June Hanson."

He says, "My name is Gene Snow."

Later on down the road she looks over at him and says, "Why do you keep sizing me up?"

He says, "I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June."

= = = = = = = = = = =

The old perfesser took the missus out for a hot date... they sat through a porno movie twice, and didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.

"You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.

"Disgustin'!" said MrsPerfesser.

"It was revoltin'," the old perfesser added.

"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.

"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," MrsPerfesser replied. "We couldn't find my panties and his teeth were in 'em!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

A woman didn't want to embarrass her husband by discussing his impotence, so she went secretly to his doctor and explained the problem. He gave a prescription, but the pharmacist who filled it made an error and the label read 30 drops instead of three.

Two days later the woman is back at the doctor's office. She's limping and looking generally beat.

"What happened to you ?" the doctor asked.

"Well doc," she replied. "those drops worked too damn good. I'm afraid now we need an antidote so they can close the coffin."

= = = = = = = = = = =

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30 Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants

9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil

10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out.

12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

1:00 Shopping with friends.

3:00 Nap.

4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.

4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.

5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.

7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

10:00 Hot shower. Alone.

10:30 Make love.

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.


A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN

6:00 Alarm.

6:15 Blowjob.

6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.

7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.

7:30 Limo arrives.

7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport

8:15 Private jet to Augusta Georgia.

9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.

9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.

11:30 Blowjob

11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.

12:15 Blowjob.

12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.

2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.

2:20 Blowjob

2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas . Nap.

3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.

4:15 Blowjob

4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.

5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.

7:00 Watch Sportscenter.

7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20oz. New York strip.

9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.

10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.

11:45 Go to bed.

11:46 One last blowjob

11:59 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.

12:00 Laugh yourself to sleep.

= = = = = = = = = = =



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