Whattayawanna do tonight?

"Well, dear what's it to be tonight?" said the amorous hubby.

"Hmmm....I'm in the mood for something special tonight, how about turkey style?" replied his mate.

"Turkey style? I've heard of 'doggy style,' but what in the world is turkey style?"

"Gobble, gobble, gobble!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. "Mrs. Brown," he said, "I have some good news for you."

The woman said, "I'm glad of that doctor, but I'm not Mrs Brown, I am Miss Brown."

"Miss Brown," said the doctor without changing expression, "I have bad news for you."

= = = = = = = = = = =

HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs admit when they are jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas
(OK, the really worst you can get from this is rabies, but there's
a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you).

Dogs understand what NO means.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs admit when they are lost.

Dogs are color blind.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.


WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

A dog's parents will never visit you.

A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.

A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.

A dog never expects you to telephone.

A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.

A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.

A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.

A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.

The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.

A dog does not shop.

= = = = = = = = = = =

The teacher wrote "Like I ain't had no fun in months." on the board and then she said, "Johnny, how should I correct that?"

Johnny replied, "Maybe get a new boyfriend?"

= = = = = = = = = = =



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Updated 9.6.2017 23:07
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