Wrong Key

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend " My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."

The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.

A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend. He said "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

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How do you attract so many beautiful women?

Once upon a time, there were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Vito) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Vito had no problem picking up gorgeous women; he was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no success.

Vladimir: "Vito! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?"

Vito: "Well, I'll tell ya! But it's a secret . . just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public."

Vladimir: "OK. Its a deal."

Vito: "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedos. When the women see it they come running from miles around."

Vladimir: "That's it? I can do that."

The next day, Vladimir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedos.

As he walked out onto the beach he immediately noticed that both women AND men began to take notice of him.

"Its working, he thought." But soon he began to realize that they were not looking interested but rather upset, almost disgusted by the sight of him.

He rushed over to Vito and asked, "Vito, what's the problem? Why isn't it working?"

Vito: "Because your supposed to put the potato in the front."

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WHAT'S THE BEST DAY?

A recent study was conducted to determine what days men prefer to have sex. It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with "T":

Tuesday
Thursday
Thanksgiving
Today
Tomorrow
Thaturday and Thunday

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