Thumb Sucking

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what "you've" been doing."

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ONE WISH FROM THE LEPRECHAUN

Once there was this little yellow frog, and he was sad because all the green frogs made fun of him. One day he was playing alone in the woods when he happened across this little leprechaun. "You may have one wish!"said the leprechaun.

"Oh more than anything, I want to be green like the other frogs!" said the frog.

So POOF! He was green, except for his dick, it was still yellow. "I can't be like this," said the frog, "Its so embarrasing! You have to change me back."

"I can't..." said the leprechaun. "If you want to change your wish, you'll have to go talk to the wizard."

So the leprechaun told the frog how to find the wizard, and the frog hopped away. Then, along came a pink elephant, and he was sad because all the grey elephants made fun of him. And he happened to catch the little leprechaun. "You may have one wish." said the leprechaun.

"Oh more than anything, I want to be grey like the other elephants", said the elephant.

So POOF! He was grey, except for his dick, it was still pink.

"I can't be like this," said the elephant. "You have to change me back."

"I can't change you back." said the leprechaun, "You'll have to go see the wizard."

"Well how do I get there?" asked the elephant.

"Just follow the yellow-dick toad!"

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Rental Agreement

"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor.

"You didn't do it, did you?"

"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"

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