The Cruise

A guy goes to a travel agent and tries to book a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. The travel agent says that all the ships are booked up and things are very tight but he will see what he can do.

A couple of days later, the travel agent phones and says he can get them on a three-day cruise. The guy agrees and goes to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine and three condoms. Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it and returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. The guy agrees and goes back to the drugstore and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it gives you motion sickness, why do you keep doing it?"

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Lion tamer

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar-coat it - - this is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history.

Here's your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lions' cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."

He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

The young man replies, "No problem, just get that stupid lion out of the way!"

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TWO MEN, ONE THOUGHT

Two men on opposite sides of the world have a strange gift that makes them think the exact same thoughts. Now, one day the one man is walking a tightrope while the other man is getting a blowjob by an eighty year old woman. What are the two men both thinking?

"Don't look down."

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