Third child

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one just as if it's your own."

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RED RIDING HOOD

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

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The New Pastor

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10."

Since you are all students of the bible, you all should be laughing by now. But for those who skipped too many religious classes:

Revelation 3:20 reads:
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads:
"And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

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Thought For The Day:

"Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can't get a date."

...Unknown

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