Pick up

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and, while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.

The man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: Just so you know - I happen to have a Rolls, BMW,and a Mercedes in my garage; plus I have over two million dollars in the bank; but, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my penis!

Just send the bottle back!

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Microsoft Husband

Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.

The first woman said, "My husband is a marriage counselor, and before we make love he brings me flowers and candy. I like that."

The second woman proclaimed, " My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, I like that."

The third woman replied, "Well, my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it's going to be when I get it."

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Microsoft Husbands 2

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a Virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now...."

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Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria were discussing boyfriends, past and present. Suddenly, a nurse from New York City said, "Well, I have discovered men are all alike!"

Whereupon, a pert little nurse from Dallas laughed and slapped the table. "Gal," she said, "men are all Ah like, too!"

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Updated 9.6.2017 23:20
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