It's The Thought That Counts

A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

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Pick up

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and, while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.

The man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: Just so you know - I happen to have a Rolls, BMW,and a Mercedes in my garage; plus I have over two million dollars in the bank; but, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my penis!

Just send the bottle back!

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This fellow walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment.

"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked.

"I'll need the information for the doctor."

"It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."

"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."

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Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake relationships!

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Updated 10.6.2017 01:00
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