Little Johnny

One day Little Johnny went walking around to check out his surroundings and found a farmer selling chickens. Little Johnny went over to the farmer to see how much he was selling them for. The farmer asked him if he wanted a male or a female. Little Johnny asked for both. So the farmer said, "Here you go, one cock and one pullet."

Little Johnny got confused, and asked him what he meant. The farmer said, "A cock is a male chicken and a pullet is a female chicken."

Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on his way with two chickens one under each arm. A bit further down the road he saw a donkey for sale.

He went to the man who was selling it to find out how much it was. The man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."

Little Johnny replied, "No, I want the donkey out side in your yard."

The man just said, "That's an ass."

Little Johnny, new to these terms, just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey. As he was leaving the man yelled out, "Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about going over hills, so you have to scratch him behind the ears to get him going again."

So Little Johnny is going back home and the donkey stops dead in its tracks and he can't get it to move. He can't scratch its ear because he would have to drop one of the chickens and it would run away. So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell at the donkey. While he is doing this a beautiful woman walks up and asks him if he needs help.

Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try to impress this beautiful woman by using my new terms that I learned today. So Little Johnny turns to the woman and says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"

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Leroy

Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy. One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."

The other two ladies agree.

The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"

The three ladies hoot and holler and slap each other high fives.

Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."

Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.

The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were good but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."

The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop....that's a hard liquor!"

The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"

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Updated 10.6.2017 01:02
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