Bingo Card

This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond neckless.

The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a mink coat. The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz. The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "Look!! Don't keep asking where I get my things!! Go upstairs and run my bath for me!!"

His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the tub. The wife asked: "How come you put so little water in the tub?"

The guy replied: "I didn't want you to wet your bingo card"

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Buckets Full Of Fun

A guy walks into a whorehouse and tells one of the girls he wants a blowjob. The girl takes him to a room and proceeds suck him off without a condom. While she does so, the guy sees a half-full bucket of sperm beside the bed.

He disregards the strange site as he enjoys the best blowjob of his life. A second later, he shoots long lines of semen into her mouth. She takes every drop, but instead of swallowing, she spits the cum into that damned bucket.

The guy wonders aloud, "Don't like swallowing spuzz, huh?"

She wipes her mouth and replies, "Another girl and I have a bet. Whoever fills up a bucket first gets to drink both buckets."

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A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."

The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?...What's wrong???"

The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

The woman says, "A hermaphrodite.... what's that???"

The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the...er... ...features...of a male and a female."

The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh, my goodness! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"

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Updated 10.6.2017 01:03
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