I am celibate
A local prostitute was brought before the court of Queen's Bench for solicitation. The judge was surprised to discover that the young woman was claiming not guilty when police had caught her in the act. The judge questioned her, expressing her surprise. |
"I am celibate." the young woman declared.
"Celibate?" the judge asked, wide-eyed. "How can you claim you are celibate?"
"It is my business to be celibate. I sell a bit here, I sell a bit there....."
The man says, "This is NO ordinary mouse though, this little feller talks!"
The Bartender says, "Oh yeah, what about?"
The man says, "See that woman at the end of the bar, the mouse will tell me what color panties she has on."
The bartender says, "Really? This I gotta see."
The man points to woman and says to the mouse; "Mouse: woman!"
The mouse runs down to the end of the bar and sees the woman's panties from the floor and comes back and says, "Pink."
"Wow!", the bartender says. "Will he do that for me?"
The man says, "Sure."
The bartender sees a woman sitting at a table, points to her and says, "Mouse: woman!"
The mouse runs out, then comes tearing back, bounces off the bar into the bartenders pocket shaking like a leaf.
The bartender says, "What's wrong with you?"
The mouse says, "I taught I taw a puddy tat!"
"It's my mother-in-law," Todd replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Jill said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
Yeah," Todd answered. "But I got mine pregnant."
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up, and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"
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