What's For Breakfast?

One Sunday morning after church, little Maury's family invited the priest to breakfast at their home. His mother asked little Maury what he would like for his breakfast and he replied, "I want a lightbulb."

Everyone laughed.

The priest was warmly touched by Maury's funny remark.

"Very funny little Maury," said Mom. "Now tell me what you want to eat."

"I wanna lightbulb," said little Maury.

Mom felt a little irritated with Maury behaving this way in front of their guest. She said sternly, "Enough of that, now what do you want to eat?"

"I wanna lightbulb, Mommy," little Maury said once more.

Mom had enough and said, "Now you can go to your room!"

The good priest felt he should intervene. "Now little Maury, tell us why you want a lightbulb for breakfast."

Maury replied, "Well, last night when I went to bed I heard Daddy say to Mommy, 'Honey, turn out the light and I'll eat that thing'."

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The pains of love

Madge: "My boyfriend made torrid love to me last night, in many positions. Then, the pervert turned me around and f**** my butt real hard, and then..."

Flora: "Oh? Sit down and tell me all about it."

Madge: "I can't."

Flora: "You can't tell me about it?"

Madge: "No, I can't sit down."

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Golda and Marty were having an affair. One day Saul came home early. Golda heard Saul's car pull into the driveway and had Marty hide in the shower. So Saul goes to the bedroom to change into some old clothes and to take off the good gold. He goes into the bathroom and sees the shower curtain shut. This isn't normal, so he opens it. Oy Vey!! There, naked in the shower, is his best friend Marty.

"Marty! Vat the hell are you doing naked in my shower?" Saul asked.

Marty looked at him and in as serious a tone as he could come up with said, "Voting?"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Q: What's the worst thing a woman can get on her 25th wedding anniversary?
A: Morning sickness.

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