Travelling salesman Rabbit

A traveling salesman once got caught up in a blizzard got shelter with a farmer who had three daughters. The farmer called him aside and told him, "Young man, I have three daughters, so stay in your room the whole night and no tricks, be warned."

In the morning, the salesman came down and the farmer asked him, "How was your night, young man?"

"Oh! Slept like a rabbit. Thanks for your hospitality; I will never forget it."

The farmer felt very happy and at the bar that night mentioned this fact to his close friend. He was boasting what a good father he had been by keeping his daughters away from trouble. His friend laughed aloud and said, "You fool! A rabbit does not sleep at night. It goes from hole to hole the whole night!"

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Cake or bed

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a g.e. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

The wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right.

To which he replied, fix the fridge door?" "Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so." replies the husband.

"Fine", she says, "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix steps", he says. "Does it look like I have ace hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey", he asks, "How'd all this get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

"So what kind of cake did you bake him?" asks the husband.

She replies, "Hellooooo.......do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

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The old perfesser catches little Maury masturbating. He says, "Don't do that, boy, or you'll go blind."

Little Maury says, "Uncle Perfesser, I'm over here!"

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And then, there was this little guy born in Los Angeles without eyelids. However, when they did the circumcision, they used for foreskin to fashion new eyelids. Everything worked out okay, but he was a little cock-eyed.

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:17
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