The Robot Secretary

"Seen my new secretary?" asked the businessman.

"Yeah," his buddy replied, "she's gorgeous."

"Well, she's a Robot, the latest model from Japan."

"Jeez, that's amazing! What can she do?"

"If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types 185 wpm for you. And when you screw her it feels better than the real thing."

"Sounds perfect."

"l almost hurt once, though."


"Well," he grimaced, "let's just say I didn't know her ass was a pencil sharpener."

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The Perfect Day....

It's OK to laugh during sex...
but it's rude to point.
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A man walked up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, though, the man knocked, and asked the same question. Not amused, the woman screamed at him and told him to leave.

Later that evening, the woman told her husband of the incident. He said he'd stay home the following day just in case the man returned.

Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she replied, "Sure, I do! Why do you ask?"

"Good," said the man at the door, "give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife!"

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Les and Lee were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Les glanced over and noticed that Lee's penis was twisted like a corkscrew.

"Wow!" said Les. "I've never seen one like THAT before."

"Like what?" asked Lee.

"All twisted like a pig's tail," Les said.

"Why, what's yours like?" Lee asked.

"Straight, like normal," answered Les.

"Sheesh, I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Lee said.

Les finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants.

"What did you do that for?" asked Lee.

"Shaking off the excess drops," Les said. "Like normal."

"&%$#@ !," Lee said. "And all these years I've been wringing it!"

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Updated 21.3.2021 14:29
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