Professional Association

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a well-endowed, beautiful, young, blonde woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled passed.

The woman looked at the doctor, smiled seductively, and said in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How are you doing?" before wiggling her backside and walking off.

"Who was that?!" demanded the doctor's wife.

"Errr... Just a woman I met professionally," replied the doctor.

"Oh yeah?!" snarled his wife, "WHOSE profession? Yours, or HERS?"

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The Christmas parrot

A man goes into a pet store to buy his wife a gift. He asks the clerk for something special. The clerk walks over to the bird section. "This is Ches. He was trained to sing Christmas carols. Watch."

The clerk lights a match and puts it under one of Ches' feet. The parrot immediately starts to sing 'Jingle Bells'.

"Why that's amazing!", exclaims the guy.

The clerk lights another match, and puts it under the other foot. This time the parrot starts singing 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.'

By this time the man is sold on the parrot, and so he pays the clerk and takes the parrot home to his wife. He lights a match and demonstrates Ches' unique ability. The guy then lights a second match and does the same thing. The wife and the guy enjoy the evening with their new pet.

A couple of days later, the wife asks the man, "What would happen if you put a match between his feet?"

The guy shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Ches, lights a match, and puts it between the parrot's feet.

"Chesnuts roasting on an open fire .....!"

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When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities - she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in the bedroom.

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order - she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

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The old and MrsPerfesser went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old perfesser said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"

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