In the air, too

When the jumbo jet on its way to Charles de Gaulle got up in the air, the loudspeaker came on: "This is your captail Emilia Rodriguez speaking. We are cruising and 35,000 feet, ... yaddayaddayadda."

When the announcement was finished, a woman calls the flight attendant over and asks, "Is it really true that this plane is being flown by a woman?

"Yes," says the attendant, "Captain Rodriguez is a woman."

"How wonderful! exclaims the passenger, "may I go up into the cockpit and congratulate her?"

"I think I can arrange that," replies the attendant, "and BTW, you might also like to know that the co-pilot AND the navigator are women, too."

"Oh, this is exciting," gushes the passenger, "I'd like to go and congratulate them all!"

"Well, you may certainly do that. In fact, you'll be interested I'm sure to know that only women make up the entire crew of this flight."

"This is the proudest day of my life," continues the passenger, "I've just got to go to the cockpit and express my admiration."

"One more thing you might like to know," adds the attendant, "we don't call it the ' cockpit ' any more!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Another viagra

A man goes to his doctor to get a prescription for Viagra. The doctor looks over the man and says, "Viagra can be very dangerous and we do not just dispense it indiscriminately. Please bring your wife to my office next week and we'll discuss this in more detail."

So the next week the man shows up with his wife. The doctor asks to see the wife by herself for a few moments. So she follows him back tothe examining room. The doctor asks her to disrobe and she does. Hethen asks her to turn around a few times. He then instructs her to get upon the examining table and to turn in various positions. He then tells her that she can get dressed, then goes out to meet the man.

"Sir," the doctor says, "there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get a hardon either..."

= = = = = = = = = = =

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch of the retirement home, doing nothing. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh, sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a Lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Arthur took his college roommate, Samuel, home for Christmas, and after dinner, spoke to his father, "Dad, I need to tell you something. Samuel and I want to get married and we'd like your blessing."

Arthur's father practically exploded, his face turned red, and was literally speechless for ten minutes. When he finally regained his composure, he replied, "Arthur, you CANNOT marry Samuel! For God's sake, Arthur,... he's Jewish!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy.

When a young lady smiles at a middle-aged man, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him.

But when a female of any age smiles at the old perfesser, he looks down to see if he's unzipped.

= = = = = = = = = = =



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