Good vibes

A young man named Ron leased an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The man smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Ron broke out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment. I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, Ron finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"

Astounded and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts. They are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin. No blemishes anywhere! How can you feel that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, Ron stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me.

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Man trap

As we were moving into our dorm last fall, young women wandered from room to room to see who had brought what to school. One student's room contained a TV, VCR, stereo system, microwave and a number of other high-tech gadgets. She even had a Sony Playstation. A fellow dorm resident couldn't resist asking, "Do you play the Sony Playstation?"

She replied with a smirk, "No. But guys do!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred; how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school and got my degree, so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So I was Fred Dingaling, MD DDS with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing so hard and tore up the Warning.

= = = = = = = = = = =

Each Friday night, the old perfesser drove his wife to the train station so she could visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, his sister arrived by train to manage his household over the weekend.

On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse, with his sister departing by train ten minutes before MrsPerfesser arrived.

One evening after his sister left and and he awaited the arrival of MrsPerfesser, a porter sauntered over. "Mister," he said, "you are sure some man! But one of these days, you know you are goin' to get caught!"

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