SRH

The old perfesser and the other old perfesser are out for a drink, the other old perfesser notices the old perfesser seems a little bit on the cranky side.

The other old perfesser says, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Kinda funny, but you're acting like you got PMS..."

"No, I don't got PMS," said the old perfesser, "but I definitely think I am suffering from the male counterpart, which I call SRH."

"What the heck's that stand for?" asks the other old perfesser.

The old perfesser sighs and replies, "Sperm Retention Headache."

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New Penis

A man was in an accident and his penis was chopped off.

He was rushed to the hospital where the doctor examined him, and after careful examination said, "We can replace it with a small size for $2,000, a medium size for $5,000, or an extra-large size for $10,000. I realize it's a lot of money, so take your time and talk it over with your wife."

When the doctor came back into the room he found the man staring sadly at the floor.

"We've decided," the man told him as he choked back tears. "My wife says she'd rather have a new kitchen."

= = = = = = = = = = =

Take two aspirins...

A guy is out with buddies, has few drinks, gets horny, but true to his wife, goes home. He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open.

He gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth. Of course she chokes but recovers and asks "What did you put in my mouth?"

He says, "Two aspirin for your headache."

She replies, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!"

He says, "That's what I wanted to hear!"

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Logic Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first one goes in to see the counselor, who suggests he take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answered, "Here, let me give you an example. Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" says the redneck.

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that, since you have a yard, you also own or rent a house."

Impressed, the redneck says, "That's friggin' amazin'!"

And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's my Betty Mae! This's incredible!" The redneck is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever done heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!"

"What in tarnation is logic???" asks his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"Fag."

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:32
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