Men are

Men are like.....Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up on your butt.

Men are like.....Noodles.
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

Men are like.....Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Men are like.....Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

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A Naked woman

Little Johnny, Billy and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude.

As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly started to scream, left his friends and took off running for home.

The next day, as the three boys came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. Again, after just a few minutes, Johnny started screaming and ran off quickly.

On the third day, the boys were peeping into the hole in the fence again after school, when Johnny turned around and started to run again. But this time, Bill and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong.

Johnny replied, "My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone...."

"And I started to feel a part of me getting awfully hard........"

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:33
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