Son Of A Bitch!

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," the girl said at confession.

"What have you done my child?" asked her priest.

"I called a man a son of a bitch," she told him.

"And why did you call him a son of a bitch?" he asked.

"Because he touched my hand," she answered.

"Like this?" said the priest, as he touches her hand.

"Yes, Father."

"That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

"Then he touched my breast."

"Like this?" he asked, as he touched her breast.

"Yes, Father."

"That's still no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

"Then he took off my clothes, father."

"Like this?" he inquired, as he takes off her clothes.

"Yes, Father."

"That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

"Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where," she confessed. "Like this?" the priest asked as he stuck his you know what into her you know where.

"Yes, Father! YES, Father!! YES FATHER!!!"

After a few minutes, the priest said, "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

"But Father, then he told me he has AIDS!"


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A tourist from Sweden visits the US on his first overseas trip. Upon arrival, at the Immigration desk, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application.

The Immigration officer looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write 'Twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'.

The officer explained: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'".

"Does it matter?" the Greek answered.

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The blonde had completed four weeks of dental restoration. She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love with her dentist ...and she was going to propose to him.

Her friend said, "Come on now, you're 34 years old, you're beautiful, you have dozens of men that adore you. Why this dentist?"

"Because," said the blonde, "he is the first man that ever said to me.... SPIT, don't SWALLOW!"

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At The Doctor's Office....

The couple were expecting their first child, and had a basic question to ask their doctor...

The doctor was an old timer and had been around the block a few times.. .. by this time he had heard just about everything.

The husband turned to the doctor and asked, "So Doc, is there a time when... errr... we... errr... hmmmm... should... you know... stop doing it?"

To which the doctor replied, "Sonny, as long as you don't get in my way in the delivery room, I really don't care!"

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Updated 21.3.2021 14:37
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