Cinderella wants to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."|
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m.,Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly....Peter Peter, something or other..."
Nobody loves me
The old perfesser, busily occupied reading a book, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, honey... some people don't even know you."
"Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"
"Viens a moi."
"Viens a moi? What does that mean?"
At this stage the assistant offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me'."
Sharon takes anther sniff and offers her arm to Tracy again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?"
He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied, "Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going."
"My, my," says the nun. "13 children, a good and proper Catholic family. God is very proud of you."
"I'm sorry, Sister," he says, "I am not Catholic, I'm Jewish."
"Jewish!" she exclaims. "You sex maniac, you!!"
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