Miss Annabell

Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and she was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them stories of her trip as they stare spellbound.

"You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips."

Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!"

"They are called homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell.

"Oh my! Oh my!," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.

"They also have women who there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!"

"Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask.

"They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.

"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell.

"Oh my Oh my," exclaim the girls as they sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. "What do they call them?" they ask in unison.

Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why when I caught my breath,....... I called him Precious."

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Hard-on

Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.

"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

"So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?"

"Well", says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

When one of the prostitutes passed away, all the girls moped disconsolately around the house.

"Good old Gloria," lamented one. "She could handle twenty men a night, drink a fifth of whiskey and still have the strength to roll five drunks."

Hearing this, one of the others burst into tears.

"Why is it," she sobbed, "that a girl has to die before anyone says anything nice about her?"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Playing Cowboy

There was a little boy who loved to dress up like a cowboy and pretend that he was one. His mother gave him some money one day to go to the local soda fountain and buy a sundae.

As the little boy ordered the sundae, the waitress asked him, "Do you want one scoop or two?"

The little boy said, "Two, please."

Then the waitress asked, "Do you want chocolate sauce?"

The little boy replied, "Yes, please".

Then the waitress asked the little boy, "Do you want your nuts crushed?"

The little boy pulled his toy gun out, pointed it at the waitress and said, "Do you want your tits shot off?"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Q: What's the definition of a computer geek?
A: A guy who has surfed the web so much he knows 2,193 ways to have sex... but doesn't know any women.

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:36
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