Before and after marriage

Before Marriage...

She: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

He: Do you want me to leave?

She: HELL NO! Don't even think about it.

He: Do you love me?

She: Of course! Over and over!

He: Have you ever cheated on me?

She: HELL NO! Why are you even asking?

He: Will you kiss me?

She: Every chance I get!

He: Will you cheat on me?

She: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

He: Can I trust you?

She: Yes.

He: Darling!

After marriage... simply read from bottom to top

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What nationality were Adam and Eve

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

= = = = = = = = = = =

A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," replied his mother.

= = = = = = = = = = =

Fore Skin

A PGA professional golfer, in an awful car crash, was rushed to the hospital where the surgeon told the pro he had lost his right arm...

but that he had good news.

The despondent pro said, "There goes my life, Doc."

"Not necessarily, my good man." answered the doctor. He said that a lady, a very nice Jewish lady, before dying had donated all of her organs and body parts to anyone who was in need. The surgeon said he could transplant the lady's right arm to the pro golfer.

The pro became ecstatic and the operation was a success.

Three months later, the pro visited the doctor to tell him his new hand and arm had him winning tournaments right and left.

"That's great," said the surgeon.

"Not only that, Doc, but my handwriting has improved a thousand percent, I've also taken up oil painting and sold my first canvas for $3000.00."

"Unbelievable." said the doctor. "I'm so glad the transplant was such a success."

"But there is one problem." the golf pro said.

"What's that?" asked the surgeon.

"Every time I touch my privates, I get a horrible headache."

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:40
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