At the Clinic

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood taken to test his cholesterol. The buxom nurse went about taking the blood sample from his finger. After finishing she looked around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. She couldn't find one so she looked innocently at the guy, took his finger and sucked it.

The guy was pleased and asked, "Do you think I could have a urine test done?"

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Did You Know?

A family was all together recently, just hanging around. The sister was browsing through an almanac and laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which she then read aloud; "Did you know that a woman's breasts increase in size by 25% during sex?"

The bother-in-law, a notorious joker, shot back, "So, how come yours don't?"

To which the father, from behind his newspaper and without even a pause, replied, "You're not pumping hard enough."

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One day a pig walks into a bar an says to the bar tender "give me a beer". So the bar tender does, the pig drinks it, and then he goes to the washroom, and goes home.

Next day a pig walks into the bar and says to the bar tender "give me a beer". So the bar tender does, the pig drinks it, and then he goes to the washroom and goes home.

Third day in a row a pig walks into the bar and tells the bar tender to "give him a beer". So the bar tender does, the pig drinks it, and then goes to the washroom, and goes home.

Fourth day in a row a pig walks into the bar and tells the bar tender "give me a beer". So the bar tender gives him a beer, the pig drinks it, goes to the washroom, and goes home.

Fifth day in a row, a pig walks into the bar and tells the bar tender "give me a beer". So by now the bar tender is pretty used to these pigs coming to bar, so he gives him a drink. The pig drinks it, and get's ready to go home.

The bar tender is puzzled why it isn't using the washroom so he says "Aren't you going to use the washroom before you go home?"

The pig looks at him and says..."nah, the fifth little pig goes wee wee wee all the way home."

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How do you find a foxhole?

Lift its tail.

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:42
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