Ole and Sven

Ole and Sven were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.

Ole says to the Sven, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"

Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"

Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."

Sven smiles and pats him on the back. "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."

Sven runs into Ole three weeks later and asks "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?

"Ole said, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday."

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The Rabbi

A Jewish congregation in suburban Boston honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.

When he walks into his hotel room, he finds a beautiful nude woman lying on the bed.

She greets the Rabbi with, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the President of the Temple arranged for you."

The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple and shouts,

"Greenblatt, what were you thinking? Where is your respect? I am the moral leader of our religious community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this."

Hearing this, the naked woman gets up and starts to get dressed.

The Rabbi turns to her and asks, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."

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There were three friends that always wanted to play golf every Saturday afternoon, but couldn't because of there wives, so one day after many years they finally got together on the golf course and were waiting at the first tee when one guy said, "I had to buy my wife a diamond necklace to get to play today!!!"

The second said, "That's nothing I had to buy MY wife a new sports car to get out here today!!!"

The third said, "Boy you guys are a couple of wimps; I didn't have to buy my wife nothing!!!"

They both look at him and asked how he managed that!

The smartest of the three said, "It was easy, when I got up this morning I looked her straight in the eye and asked, "Golf course or Intercourse?"

She threw me a sweater and said, "Take this, it might get chilly out there!"

= = = = = = = = = = =

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A. Breasts don't have eyes.

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:45
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