Can you forget?

Dave starts talking to two women in a bar. They turn out to be identical twins, and they wind up back at his apartment where they have sex in a torrid threesome.

When they finished, one of them sees a violin and says, "Is that a violin in the corner? I'd love to play the violin for you while my sister sings."

So, both naked, one sister plays the violin and the other sings for Dave who is laying on the bed completely enthralled.

A few weeks later, the girls are walking past Dave' apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."

The other girl says, "Gee... do you think he'll remember us?"

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In the classroom

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"

Sally holds up her hand and asks "is it a giraffe?"

"Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.

"See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"

Billy holds up his hand and says, "It's a zebra."

"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal.

"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"

Still no one guesses.

"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."

Little Johnny holds up his hand and hollers, "It's a horny bastard!!!"

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Near Fredericksburg, Texas where there is a large German-speaking population. A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.

The Farmer shouted, "Trim dax wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." (Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.)

The man shouted back, "I'm from Illinois and just down here campaigning for Obama, so I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The farmer replied, "Use two hands, you'll get more."

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"Momma, momma, buy me a new skirt. Buy me a new skirt, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!"

"No, Pauly, a thousand times no!!!"

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