At the Drugstore

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?"

"Don't Miss me, mister!"

"Very well, in that case, make it 13."

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What a Surprise

Miriam gets married and a year later goes into hospital and gives birth to triplets. All her family and friends are shocked when they hear the news - they know of no-one who has had triplets before.

As soon as she hears the news, Miriam's mother-in-law Fay goes to visit her daughter-in-law in hospital. As soon as she arrives, Fay hands over the bunch of grapes and says,

"What a surprise, Miriam. No one on our side of the family has ever had twins before, let alone triplets."

"Yes, it was a bit of a shock," replies Miriam, "but I'm getting over it. By the way, my doctor tells me that triplets only happen once every hundred thousand times."

"Oy vey, Miriam," says Fay, "how on earth did you find the time to do your housework?"

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20 Harsh Things To Say To A Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahhhh, it's cute.

3. Why don't we just cuddle?

4. You know they have surgery to fix that.

5. Wow, and your feet are so big.

6. It's OK, we'll work around it.

7. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

8. Oh no... a flash headache.

9. Can I be honest with you?

10. How sweet, you brought incense.

11. This explains your car.

12. At least this won't take long.

13. I never saw one like that before.

14. But it still works, right?

15. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

16. Are you cold?

17. If you get me real drunk first.

18. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

19. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

20. I guess this makes me the early bird.

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Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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Updated 10.6.2017 10:45
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